A change of name following a change of Diagnosis
Mood:  hug me
Well, last month I had some testing done with the experts at University of Michigan's Autism Center to find out what indeed is up with me.

The diffinatly diagnoised Asperger's Sydrom and stated that I was misdiagnosed with ADD for 20 years. Mo wonder everything I tried never quite worked right. I was being treated for the wrong things and turns that many of my problem, idyscrancies and fault can be laid at the foot of this upper end Autism Spectrum disorder.

I feel liek I need a hug becuase I am both angered and relieved at this. Its like doors I barely knew existed have opened for me. At long last my IT was unveiled.

Another month goes back yet Hope still lives on.
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: Oldies on the radio
Yep, another month goes by when I really should be using this Jouneral everyday so my fleeting thought aren;t so fleeting. At least I am listening to some music.

Apsberger's is mostly ruled out, pending more indepth testing. Its ADHD is the big ass thing till with more unknown possible. I am thinking about rereading my Milon test result, but I am not sure put the darned thing. I need a hug, but all I can do now is wait wait and hope.

The uncertainty Factor
Mood:  hug me
Well, the past month or so has been the use mixed bag. I'm just so unuse to journels that its seems I can never new more then two in a row. Life is just a moment by moment things and my mind plays games with itself as the world plays with it.

My Physche doc doesn't know what to do with me other then the med I have and my theripistes hasn't been helping as much as she could and porgress has stagnated. They aren't even sure I have Asbergers even though to me is a very likely canadite. My parents are pushing to do soemthing I only half-heartedly want to do for reason thats can be fixed by a proper diagnosic.

I am going to be going to a new Doc whose a specialist in Aspergers. I'll be returning to the ADHD Group, I'll be gameing and I'll be looking for soemthing to do with my life. God help me.

Another 3 weeks gone.
Mood:  irritated
Well, life's been interesting. A TG/TF board budy, Pchan has been running a D&D for the last couple of
weeks which has turned into one of the best games I have played in and being the game I was in with the fewest regular people. Since it stated I haven't done my d20 modern game and my GCP FR game has run into a plot stand still. I need to think of something quick. Right now its like driving through Wyoming, just plains man.

My parents went on a no kids camping trip and my bitch of an older sister is being a fucking nazi. I love her so but she's a primadonna Das Uberhundin. Basicly Diva Mega bitch in a mixture of Italian and German.

Last week I was dignosed with Asperger's syndrom and don't know how to fucking take it.

3days 3 games later
Mood:  not sure
Well, the legendary game ways just pregame set up. My Forgetten realms had it best session yet and my TF/TG d20 Modern game got off to a stupendious start.

Then why I am feeling not sure how/what I', feeling. I have a IRL game tonight that I am obligated to go to and I am starting to tire of though its actully a decent game, just not the style of group I like.

I am also conimplative with a lot of shit on my mine. I ask some people questions I never asked before and am totally uncomferitble about. I don't know what to feel. I want to try some Zen meditating techniques, but I never could in the past, though I never really tied nor really know and true technqiues. I want to they the Hypno tracks I have on my computer, but its in the basement still. Sigh, more when I think about this.

YAWN. Mornings are interesting times.
Mood:  a-ok
Well, mistook today for one of my appointments for my theripist for this morning but I found out its for tomarrow. As soon as I get over the yawns I'll be chipper. Gives me time to really work on my games. Also Eric Z is starting his legendary game tonight, should be interests though I still need to write up the character history. At least I have enough in my head so I can role-play here. I better break out the Shakespearian insult book I bought.

12 day lapse.
Mood:  down
Well, had a week+ of doctor's vists, creative insperation and other stuff. Yesterday I finally started with the preludes of my TF/TG d20 Modern game. Ended up better then expected. Have a few good players which makes me happy. I finshed makeing a map for them.

My FR game was postoned due needing to have a sleep study done. Next week they'll be face and evil I am going to throw. At them. Yes, I planned a bit, but not much more. They should handle it.

All in all, my GMing skills are inproving slowly and surelys, as are my interpersonally skills and my copeing with my conditions. Still don't understand them, but at least now I am truely starting to live with them. More on this later.

Happy Father's Day!

Slow day before a gameing session
Nothing much to say about to other then I had a theopy session, got a haircut, was caught in loads of traffic and not much else.

I am currently on the cusp of running the thrid session of my Forgotten realms D&D game. Got a new player bringing the total to 5. Should be fun. Was up latter lastnight working on a Legendary game character, possibly the most insane conspet I could think of, but it will be fun.

I'm still working on getting that TF game started. Other games are poping up. It summer again, so people are going to have more time, I hope atleast. No I am off to torment soem players.

6 months later.
I can't really belive it's been this long, but little has changed. Backproblems gone crititical and my semester has been literally nullified.

I am currently takeing a break from schooling to heal and work on the problems after this Blog was named. I'm lucky I guesss. Currently I am being treat by a specialist in Adult ADD and by a phycologist who works with him. So far there have been many improvements, one of them is me faceing a ghost of the past and so far so good.

Yesterday was the 40th annerversry of D-Day, may all those who gave the ultimate sacrfice then for what ever cause rest inn peace.

Today, I am going to be takeing a barrage of test by the office of that specalist I mentioned. I think I will announce some of the results when I get them. Should be ok, I don't think this Blog gets many hits, I dear say its a tad boring ;)

In other news, I am running an On-line FR D&D game off of GCP and am planning to start soon with a TF/TG trasformation based/themed d20 Modern game off of TG-TF Transformtion Games BB. Yep, found people with quirks simular to my own and starting a game. I also am in a IRL D&D game with some old buddies of mine. It fun, but parts of it are unsatisfying due to differing RP styles.

I will be updateing this far more often. Its a promise.

New year, new classes, new attituide and a clean slate.
Thing are on the upswing. I currently am trying to redem myself in the acdemic stance and so far been doing well at it, though I still have a few hurdles to over come. More later when I actully think of something more worthwhile.